mid-year anxiety & doubts ( lies )
We are officially more than halfway through 2019.
I’m curious what your initial reaction is as you read that?
Maybe the anxiety kicks in, whispering that you haven’t done what you were supposed to - you didn’t lose the weight, didn’t start that blog, didn’t find the love of your life, didn’t journal every morning, didn’t get pregnant, didn’t read a new book each week.
Or maybe you actually felt a sigh of relief, because this year has quite honestly kicked you in the rear end. Your job has only gotten worse, your family is growing apart because of drama, you’re marriage seems even more fractured than it was before you started counseling, your depression is leaving you hopeless. You’re just ready for it to end. You are desperate for the new year, a fresh start.
You’re not alone.
I wrote each one of those things because it’s something I’m living, or something a dear friend is living. I don’t have a large group of friends either… these things are all between a handful of people, meaning it’s more common that you realize.
There’s two major lies going on here:
“you’re not enough/ you’re not doing enough/ “do better.”
“your circumstances rule your emotions/you won’t feel better until __ is fixed/this year is a wash- give up now and wait for 2020”
To address the first group of lies: you ARE enough. you are a human BEing, not a human DOing, and you’re doing the best you can. You don’t have to “do better". That’s something the world has sold to us since we were little (quite literally - billions of dollars are spent every day to convince us that we need have or do xyz to be a better version of ourselves).
But God isn’t waiting for some better version of you
He meets us right where we are, no matter where that might be. The world has tricked us into thinking that we need to “get right” before coming to God… so we stay in bondage because we can’t live up to it, and never come to God. That’s SO wrong! He didn’t just die on the cross to pay for our sins, he died so we could have a relationship with Him. Seek after that relationship, and stop worrying about “doing better.” He’s not worried about it in the least, so why should you be?
And the second group of lies? Whispers from the enemy to keep you enslaved and rob you from any chance at joy. Emotions are real. Circumstances are real. But they don’t rule you.
Don’t let them have that control - you’re worth so much more.
He’s made us new. He’s given us a new heart. If you’re having a rough year, me too - I’m with you. But we don’t have to wait for 2020 to have joy. We can have it here, in the midst of the chaos. A few days ago, my anxiety was skyrocketing all day and I didn’t really get anything done. So by 6pm, I was beating myself up for letting my anxiety keep me down. And I got a little nudge from Jesus, reminding me that the day wasn’t “a wash”. That my productivity doesn’t dictate my worth. And that I could start new, in that moment. I didn’t have to wait for my anxiety to cease, I didn’t have to wait for tomorrow.
I know - these lies can weigh on us and start to feel like truth. But your Creator has something different to say about you - you are worth it. Worth dying a torturous and awful death so He could have a relationship with YOU.