{part II} my journey with art + healing

I know I said “coming soon” after {part I} but apparently that means two months. Honestly, it’s still not easy to talk about my journey with mental illness… there are days I feel like a fraud encouraging others when I’m still working to overcome this invisible sickness.

But that’s part of it… that we are never really “perfect”; there are still seasons of light and seasons of darkness. Making peace with this is possibly the hardest part of anxiety and depression: I will always have moments, days, or even weeks, that I don’t feel whole.

I can go months without panic attacks only to wake up in the middle of one and have three more that same day. In those moments, it’s easy to listen to the voices, saying “see? I told you- you’re not better. it was just a fluke. now you’re sick again and you’ll never feel better. you just fooled yourself into thinking you were actually ok- you’re as screwed up as ever.” Writing this, now, I know that these are blatant lies. And I can confidently tell you, the sun will rise again, even after the darkest night.

Maybe you’re having one of those days, or weeks, and you’re so confused- you thought you were all better but today you can’t manage to get out of bed. I just want to say- it’s ok. It is ok to not feel ok. It’s still part of the journey. And it doesn’t have to go to waste. One of the best things you can do is talk about it- I can’t explain it, but it will begin to release you from that bondage. You’ll quickly find you’re not alone. And who knows- you may just give someone else the courage to talk about it too, and in turn, allow them to share in your newfound hints of freedom.